balance

open my eyes, to see things as i should,
may i do, my daily turn of good.
Let me be ready, waiting for each need,
to keep it clean, in thought and word and deed.

i did. realized yet again, that i couldn't see everything. understanding and wisdom doesn't come with the snap of fingers. at least, i understood. seeing is one thing, believing another. the reflection of a simple bus EZ link tap machine seemed distorted. reflections too, follows. present, but different.

thanks mr yeow for the book. though slow paced, what i have absorbed is already tremendous. reading only like afew pages, i stop to ponder. yet, i know that there are much more to it than the book. it's only a guide. don't really want one single book to determine my life.

congrates to eng who got 16th for the road race. guess you won't be taking taxi the next 10 years? lol. wig, ya deserved the 20th position, though the way you received the medal was damn funny. =) then went to simpang bedok to eat with eng, yixin and farhan. sialah! kena swarmed by 4 people to patronize their stall, they even set up special table for us. scary. but irritating.

didn't make it for S paper. the school disallowed me to take, yet my fmaths teachers are behind me and willing to help me speak up. they rock! =) they always do, just that people don't see it in that perspective. i could sit in the lectures, and if i do well for march block test, i might make it! *prays* thanks weiding, junjie and brandon who were concerned on whether i could take it! =) with these genuises supporting and helping me, hopefully i can do well =)

cycling. love it. miss it. wanted to cycle to bedok jetty just now, but was too late. thought i could relax and sort things out there, but the trip has to be postponed. had dinner with junkai, ryan and xun. crapped alot. went to junkai's house where he gave me the badges he helped swopped during NZ jamboree. he's lucky to have went there; the stories he related were so cooL!~ =) it made me wanna go too, but it's over, and i'm contented to have the opportunity to go for my korea jam. equally fun, and an experience. scouts just rocks!~ =)

the thinker. the big five personality test is true, but in my eyes, that was a waste of money. sorry to be a spoiler and i have no intention of saying i'm good, but it's that the answers which are reflected in the booklet are our answers which we submitted during the test. it is just a presentation of which we are paying for. our personality is there, but it only lets us be conscious of it. well, maybe those who don't really know themselves and can't handle details would find it worthwhile, but if you dig deeper, everything is apparent.

journey on.

now as i journey, upon my chosen way,
in all i do, my thoughts, my work my play.
grant as i promise, courage new for me,
to be the best, the best that i can be.

lame!!

this is super lame...

i am feeling ultra lame now. by RIGHT, i am not lame. but by left, i am DAMN LAME. this is so lame, which is caused by the pain. i can't walk properly! so lame right? kumar said, "you are a lame ass", which is soooo true. my ass hurts, so i am a lame ass. so this is lame to the max!

so so lame, but who cares?

squash people are fun to the max! shawn, eng and wig! thanks for making squash life the funest of the funest of the funest. we stay back till god knows how late everytime, and spill so much bull all in the name sake of fun! you guys rock! =)

interesting

queer. to read it umpteen times to know myself better. yet, with each scan of the eyes, knowledge is gained too.

*fantasy time*
sometimes, i do wish for a general solution in life. just like maths, if only it were that simple. comprehension with no trickery, what everyone wishes for.

*kicks back into reality*
sets in. lately, have been affected by my surroundings, probably what he says, i must take in consideration of the environment and the outside world, not just live in seclusion, to which i have already done. I can't bear the palm alone, as one i am useless, yet there is nothing i can do, or can i? the sufferings of life seem so apparent, in line with the buddhists teachings. not that i'm a devotee, but i have come to accept life's course of nature.

my mind is still immature, though having weathered storms and hails. such is still a puny one, however, it makes me realize each time, allowing me to be more cognizant of my surroundings. though what i'm experiencing isn't what most teens would be, i'm glad to say it's changing me. still, i'm rather disheartened that i have to ponder about such things yet concentrate on my studies, of which isn't doing very well currently.

Growth. time. as life goes on, past instances on life's teachings flashbacked. wonderful. anime, as it seems, though childish, has taught me much. friends, great advisors, having spent most of their time with ya. trying to attain selflessness. ultimately, time, the greatest teacher, will tell. thanks everyone, sorry if i ever berated at ya, no hard feelings please. so help me okay? be the harshest of critics, my friends. anything, except thrashing my whole thoughts thinking you are better, beat off the ego. if you have more excellent thoughts, please share.

lastly, a point to note. why do we keep improving ourselves? growth, maturity; what does it contribute to? a better person maybe? why then a better person? make less mistakes so as to live a better and happier life perhaps? a perfect life is what we seek then? not attainable, but something worth living? where then will it be after death? why is there presence of suffering? is life so unfair? is fairness what we want? does it lead to a better life?
presenting to you: my skeleton of thoughts which led to my entry.

seeking

NB: it doesn't makes sense to anyone except one, so the choice to read it is yours.

a whole new revelation. seek balance, as what he says. those who have greater minds all came to a dead-end. i, too, find myself back tracking, going in circles, only to end where i begin with. though he says that it was the journey that was of more importance than the result, why then do i continue to seek an answer that i already knew? does it think that it has a greater capability than all other human beings, which is why it continues seeking? such arrogance i detest, yet i can't change. fight it, and it retaliates. likewise with emotions: suppress it, and it bounces back. eventually, rationale triumphs, but at the expense of countless casualities. unlike war, it is inevitable. or perhaps it is, but not that i know of. perhaps that is why there are guidelines called principles of life. however, it all comes down to the inner soul, what do i believe? regretably, none yet. he says that when it comes to a point where all logic doesn't make sense, then it is where faith begins. but does it work both ways? does faith transcend logic? am i too demanding or untrusting to seek beliefs? why do i put down and rationalize, yet not finding an answer? questions. no answer. cycles.

constrain. just what i needed. when the human body and mind is at its weakest, it almost succumbed and is susceptible to dangerous emotions. control; yet it becomes weaker as it cumulates. time alone is a challenging factor: when it was going to hit point-zero, rationale comes to the rescue. a wrongdoing which i avoided, yet i am not satisfied. a long-term battle which needs to be settled. always at the spur of moment, i lost but miracles occured. like cancer, there is no remedy; only theraupy. time is not on my side, i need some seclusion, but what good will it do? perhaps i need a refreshing breakaway from life, which i have no luxury to. every second it plays on, and with each moment results in a changed person.

happiness. is it what we live for? balance, yet again, he stresses. understanding that misery brings about elation, then what is the goal? the creator, is there such a person? self-improvement, the essence of life? heaven, is there such a place? logically endless and vast...
he's going to give me a book to read, i hope that helps. he comments that i am the few who thinks about these stuff, which is rather good in his opinion. bestowed with it, i am grateful, yet nobody knows and cares as it begins to seem troublesome. different. not small, but a major difference between all the councillors, perhaps to the extent of being an outcast. yet my voicebox doesn't want to open its mouth, again with thanks to my rationale thoughts? he says, "trust yourself more". interesting, though i know that people can trust me to the fullest, yet where is thy trust for myself? situations and circumstances might turn it to arrogance, which i thoroughly detest. lastly, a very good question he leaves me to ponder: what is the life stuck wants to live?

sorry if i left some of you in wonder, but you are definitely not alone. how i wish i was as carefree as all of you: just insolvable problems of the heart. do not worry, it will all come together and nature would find its way. brace yourself, and have fun! =) thank you!

more thoughts

right. physically drained, mentally sapped. but that still doesn't deter my thoughts. hmmm...

squash 3 days in a row. tomorrow will be the 4th. wonder where's thy energy for tutorials?

maths done and ahead; what is chemistry? right. GP compre not done, but playing GO. oh what fun!

Why does things get more complicated as days fly pass? Everyday there's always something different. More people sinking. Emotions felt. Should i care? Or sort the reason?

JC life is really the peak of one's time capsule. live it, experience it, enjoy it. i've gotta try harder.

Awake

here i am at an unearthly hour again. haha =) No, not because i have no life. i was doing maths. you see the picture now? haha, surprisingly, i don't feel tired. i survived without caffine. interesting.

well, as the day passes, thoughts become more abstract. to complicated to sort out, too deep to understand. what baffles me isn't the ordinary 'solvable' problem which requires time, it is the question of life, or some people might call it the "Truth". It isn't the simple why do i live, why am i here. but rather, it is more difficult and perhaps, impossible to solve for my infinitesimal mind. i wonder why i wonder such stuff, why my thoughts are provoked so easily, but let's not get to that.
also, i've been noticing things lately. and more often than not, others don't have the previlage to do so. but it wouldn't affect them, as they are small matters which would be cast away by any other human. i was just lucky to spot them and take note, and suddenly it led me to be aware of my surroundings better. i've been hearing alot too, which somehow or rather affects my thinking. hmmz, my senses really play a major role in toying with my emotions. hehe =)

let's move away from that. the workload piles on. *sigh. i caught up with my double maths, but still need to revise fmaths, getting difficult now. why don't people believe me when i say my maths suck? lol. anyway, there'll be a lecture test for maths c students later, and fmaths students have been invited to take the test on vectors and MI, something we did long before. i forgot most of it though. haha. well, we were discussing whether we should come late, because if we come early then sleep, that'll be pointless. furthermore, later still got S paper talk, which all of us are interested in. heheh. i really hope i can take S paper for maths c, but i don't fulfill the criteria because of my poor chem results. haiz~ hope my appeal will be successful. =)

took the big five personality test last night. it was a painstaking 270 question long quiz, and i took quite awhile. while taking the test, i realized i got to know myself better after orientation. hey, that's new! =) went online, talking to some people halfway, then realize no time already. had to do work. so sorry! then here i am, waiting for school to start so that i can continue to pedal on the cycles of life.

learning journey

reflections. yes. more reflections. The Truth seems to get more and more easier to understand. though i didn't think i grew, my brain somehow could realize things better. i just couldn't resist the temptation to type my heart out in this time of the night. sorry jiayan, but this is when thoughts get more serious and apparent. haha.. and i just got drifted away by it again...

anyway, i believed the 'debrief' served its purpose. to understand each other, clear misunderstandings and also to critic and improve on our mistakes. i just kept my mouth shut. not because i couldn't be bothered, neither was i angry nor sad, but it was just like reflection time. there was definitely room for improvement for orientation, but more often than not we tend to miss out on stuff.
why are we doing orientation? to incorporate the freshman into Meridian and gel them into the environment. why do we do so? because we are from the students' council; it is our job. why are we in students' council? various people have different reasons, but for me, it was for the points, experience and the people i serve: my friends. why do i do that? because i am in Meridian JC, and i feel the need to play a part in making the school a better place for us. why am i in Meridian? to further my studies and get a decent education level. why do i need to study? the minor reason is that it is part of my interest (maths), but the major one is that to study is like an investment to oneself so that one can get a job in the future. why then do we need to get a job? because we need to earn a living and feed ourselves. why do we do that? it is all part of survival, the so called part and parcel of life. hmmz, so why do we survive for? *stupified* it is just a natural instinct, as we don't want to die (i presume). but to think of it, we will die eventually, so we are letting nature take its course. the aim: live life to the fullest. which all boils down to my first point. orientation. it is a way where minds and emotions are put to the test, where we can improve and move on with life with a motive to make it the best it can be.

mistakes; to be relinquished but not to be dwelled on. we all make them. but what makes us different is that we learn. Learning is a lifelong journey, it never stops till your time is up. i, for one, likes to study people in hope to learn from them. so i just kept quiet. dumb? it does not matter whether the whole council loses respect for me, i learnt that self-worth is valuable. a scout is to be trusted, i could let others trust me, but why couldn't i let me trust myself? ironical, yet so true. TAs kept on saying, "glad to see majority of the council grew" i knew i didn't, but i wasn't letting them down. it was myself which i let down. also, not to say i'm SO great or what to notice, but the TAs grew. i've been secretly watching, but not daring to tell for fear that people would think i'm arrogant. Not only that, the OHLs and OGLs did grow too. though personal growth is much important, at times friends can be there and encourage others to point out their growth. I regrettably dislike my 'keep quiet' attitude, i realized that some people were affected, and i shouldn't keep to myself when everyone else poured out. I did consider what others might think of me, how would they feel etc. it does not matter, but i forget to assist others when i indulged in my thoughts. "To help other people", a simple 4 words from the SCOUTS PROMISE. i need to fulfill. Most importantly, we must not forget gratitude. I never got the time to thank my WnW game i/cs, ALL the OGLs for their fantastic job. No doubt the council has done much, but would it be possible without the help from the OGLs?

Due to time constrains yet again, i can only stop for now. but there are still much much more to come. and i am left in wonder to discover. =)

explanation

i know i shouldn't be blogging at this point of time, but yea, as what the DISC trainer said, everything's inside, it just has to come out somewhere. just somewhere. so here...

TO ALL COUNCILLORS:
i just didn't open my mouth. you might be shock, but that's me. the real me. what you see laughing, chatting, the opening of the mouth isn't the real me. it's a weird hobby, i admit, but i like to think. just sit and wonder. don't assume i'm despondent just because i'm walking all alone in some ulu part of the school, it's just that i love it. i need a time to walk and think, do the thing i most enjoy. it isn't the right period of time or whatsoever, but yea, i figured that i needed time off to be in a perfectly serene place alone, enjoying the breeze. the silence of the night really serenades me.

the problem, you see, is that i didn't break down. i never did. all i did was just shut my mouth and think. i'm devoid of an "s" and "i" personality when i get to that, but just don't pry into my brain. just don't. information was just too abundant for me to absorb, i needed time. i needed to sort. i wanted to open my mouth, i was about to, but rationale thoughts overwhelmed and it automatically shutted. i wanted to say this today, but I'm sorry. all this while i haven't been saying anything, and i shan't explain myself further, partly because i don't want people to know, and partly due to my laziness, ie. slacker.

Orientation opened my eyes to my principles which i didn't strictly follow, it also gave me a whole new experience of what to consider. i feel that i am a perfectionist, and regarding most of the points you guys mentioned in the briefing, i had mentally jotted it down previously. Obviously, i realised that i couldn't think of everything given my pathetic IQ, but orientation led me to seek my inner self. Given all that, i felt that i had lost self respect and respect from everybody. Everybody knows that Kumar, Halim, Jiayan, Liane, Fifi all did a great job! i didn't. though my words may seem negative, it's just that i have considered ALL the positive points and are now focusing on those negative ones which would improve myself.

Lastly, i don't have time to continue. So i'll end this short para here. Don't worry about me as i'm seriously alright. Like everybody else, i have some catching up to do. Let's excel in our studies, everyone! =) Thanks for everything. i'm sorry i can't list out every single person now. but most importantly, thanks mr yeow! will blog again soon, i hope!

resolution

a promise to be made. thoughts have been straighten out.

On my honour,
I promise to do my best,
To do my duty to God,
And to the Republic of Singapore.
To help other people,
And to keep the scout law.

Thou shall not run away again. Thou shall be the best that one can be. Thank you BP for your inspiration.

1. A scout is loyal
2. A scout is to be trusted
3. A scout makes friends, establishes and maintains harmonious relations.
4. A scout is discipline and considerate.
5. A scout has courage in all difficulties

All this will be engraved in my heart right now. Thou will not let down the BP spirit ever again.

orientation 2005

faster than i thought, orientation just swept past. not only did i NOT grow, i shrunk and lost alot of self-respect. glad to see all the others grow, but the leaves on my tree just flew away along with the wind. losing all respect from everyone too, i didn't say a word. i couldn't. so the best is to remain quiet. think. So you people can now drop their fake and pretentious "hey, you did a great job!" tone. thanks kai for everything. losing respect from everybody and myself wasn't that bad, it was the principles which matter. i didn't adhere to it, it had to be driven into my mind when kai shouted at me. realization. everything could have been lost, but my principles? that was the end. but after listening to kai's advice, we will have to grit our teeth and bear with it. just bear in mind our principles and be the best that we can be. BP once said, "we train boys so that they can be useful to people". So i shall now stand by my principles and be useful to people. made this mistake once, enough to last me a lifetime. now, i put my life on the line as a guarentee to REMEMBER my principles and CARRY IT OUT. the lesson for life.

i'm sorry to have let down everybody who participated in the orientation. i couldn't break down. i just couldn't. had a long and outrageous internal struggle; nobody knows, nobody cares. starvation. ill-treatment. self torture. it would have been better to run away or faint, but responsibilities are to be fulfilled. a facade of smiles and "everything's going well" portrayed on the outside, and i did it so naturally. though receding at times, i had to make sure everything goes well and everyone's welfare is taken care of. it has to be done. amongst the unhappiness, feelings overwhelmed and rationale too. ferocious battles fought in instances. teachers, the titans, losing it too. what could be done? like a volcano, it looks so calm on the outside. a blank face, nothing more. panick, running for their lives to avoid the mishap. more people were shedding tears, and all the more i can't break. huge supporters helping, i sprung to life. it seemed that i had erupted, fell down, but truly, nobody knows what i'm thinking, nor what i feel. guilt stricken, others falling and fallen. bullets still flying, i can't save them. fading away right in front of my eyes yet not being able to do anything. helplessness and terror, WHY ON EARTH DO I EXIST?!? sufferings in life too hard to bear, too profound to comprehend, too intricate to solve. to witness yet not to resolve, to bear the palm alone with no power is terrifying. so unity is strength. but where is thy unity? such words are powerless and speak little of feelings. i'm utterly sorry for all the complains. this may be too much for me to handle. i wonder how the rest might feel? most should be slacking (sorry if i stereotyped) and i do admire that hobby. respect earned seemed to be only one. nobody notices, but behind his smiles are heavier workloads and stress way beyond mine. standing stronger than everyone else, he does not falter, nor does he show it. even he is still learning. there's definitely something more behind those eyes that i know not, but i hope to seek. most importantly, thank you mr yeow! true respect once gained, stays forever.

visualize everything as an outsider seems rather good, but to be alert on what's happening inside is alarming. such is the way of life. orientation objective achieved, and once again rest is bestowed upon us. but not for long, as work crawls behind, leaving terrible scratches and inbearable pain.

happy new year

new year. happy? hmmz... anyway, thanks to sufyan, yousi, dar, valerie, phuay ying, kumar and marcus for wishing a happy new year 2005 via sms. THANKS! a happy new year to you too...

the twitch of the eye

25th dec: christmas. it just doesn't feel like christmas. although i did play santa claus... hmmz... left the house at 3.30pm for phuay ying's void deck, called her, surprised her, and gave her a present. the surprise actually worked! not bad for a start. next stop, pasir ris. went to cheryl's void deck, but it didn't turn out as surprising because i had to ask her for directions. right. then called rayner but he wasn't home. so i conveniently borrowed, or rather, stunned his bike and cycled to hongwei's house. caught him by surprise! it's nice chatting with an old friend and watching anime together, although we did more of the latter. =X anyway, bleach is a cool anime! arh har, sorry, yupz. then chiong on the road all the way to marcus' house. then called and surprised him too, and he lent me one whole compilation of Gundam SEED together with yakitate! ja-PAN. it's so damn cooL!~ creative production man. then, rayner called me and i raced back down to his house and surprised him with a present! actually, supposed to do mass delivery, but due to time constrains, i had to be back by 8pm for steamboat dinner. eh, today actually not so STUNNING. it would be too harsh of a word to be used. i didn't see STUNNED facial expressions, probably due to me calling to announce my arrival. hmmz, perhaps next year i should just knock on the door instead of calling them and waiting at the void deck. santa claus, ho ho ho?

26th dec: damn slack man. slack at home the whole day, but feeling guilty too because didn't do homework when i actually have the opportunity. what have i been learning from STUNNING? letting opportunities down the drain? I just slack too much, like shikamaru, find stuff troublesome. then watch Gundam SEED until parents scold. say i'm wasting my life away, blaa blaa, what do i learn from watching all that crap. yar, what do i learn? but it's not about that, anime is a source of inspiration to me. though it may sound crap, but i yearn to change for the better every time i view a touching scene from it. it ain't all that great, but yar, it serves as a learning point for me. but i can understand from their point of view, because i think it wastes alot of time too, especially when i can do my hw with it. but no, who would choose to do hw? i mean, nobody even thinks about it man. right, i'm becoming more of a slacker, but it just ain't right. just not right...

27th dec: woke up late and when i came to school, the meeting was on halfway. i was like, don't go in now. give bad image on the sc. so i ponned, but i already went to the council room where kha was in it. so where? walking and walking, i took a sip at the bestest water cooler ever (3rd floor bio lab there). then pushed open the toilet door, slide my pouch on the floor, took a leak, then i sat there right under the fan so i won't get blown. Reflections. sorry man, it IS a weird place to ponder, but i'm just weird enough to like it. it's so perfect: sparkling clean and a stinging silence. to think is a fortune. i just sat there, thinking and thinking. torrents of thoughts poured in relentlessly, but together with the environment, it was cool for me. so Stuck is weird, what's new? then, i actually took note of time! i strolled back to the council room, with pouch in hand, and saw the PRC OHAs coming back from the meeting at the AVA room. didn't say a word, was still thinking. then they were slacking, so i stood outside, having the birds eye view of the school and continued thinking. i then heard mr yeow's voice, then i realised they started meeting. without me, yar, so i could have just stood outside and be left pondering to myself. why did i ever step in? *ponders* i then stayed in school late enough to be able to meet rayner for tea. what the hell, i even thought on the bus, but that's what i usually do. haha. today's just thinking eh? but just as i thought so, when i went back home, i had to start on MMM. worked my way to 3,4 am in the morning to complete MMM and WnW. what am i doing man? purposely choose the road of suffering? probably due to me NOT doing anything for council, being the usual slacker. anyway, i'm not doing much for orientation now. just slack only. so why am i up to 3,4 am in the morning? hmmz... ... (did not talk of my thoughts because i would just go on and on and on)

28th dec: came to school extremely early and rested. liane came, chatted with her, then slack. helped halim do WnW, then do MMM with kumar. supposed to teach the ogls on the new couple dance, but slack lah... if kumar and i were to dance on stage, that's it! anyway, kumar, halim and i then went to bugis for lunch and movie, kung fu hustle. kumar says it's cheap thrill, halim thought it was a waste of money, and i was like, not funny. so it wasn't the type of comedy we were expecting, but whatever the case, i'm glad we could actually go out together. =) then, kumar and i walked ALL THE WAY FROM BUGIS TO VCH!! remarkable achievement eh kumar? but it's nothing to me, hikes are just worse, but let's not get to that. felt sleepy already, and i slept for the first half of Juxtapose. oh no! i'm so sorry. sat with zhiyang and xunyong, but after the intermission, i was fully awake for some reason which i know not. the last few pieces were rather good and zhiyang and i were talking about their performance. after that, the 3 of us were supposed to go for supper, but it was getting real late, so zhiyang went home. therefore xun and i went to 168 and we called rayner. i really like zzy and xun's company, it's just that we have so much to talk about everytime we meet. just talking about stuff carefreely, how cool is that? (no, i ain't sarca this time round) we ordered limejuice and prata, and halfway through, rayner's mom came by and ordered tea and some nice black pepper pork steaks for us. so nice! thanks auntie! then she began talking about her son, say he ignorant, say she is experienced in life, blaa blaa, i kind of admire rayner then. it's because his mother is able to speak reason with him, but she says that he doesn't listen. so xun and i were just listening and nodding to everything she said before she left us alone. heez. it's not really nice to have your mom speaking bad things about you in front of other people, but hey, it's all for his own good! anyway, it was like past midnight, so both xun and i rushed for the last bus. what a eventful day! =)

29th dec: was feeling abit sick today. so i didn't go for the PRC. but i felt better in the afternoon so i went to hongwei's house to continue watching anime. haha. then met rayner for tea yet again to kill time before i went for the squash bbq at evelyn's condo Tropica. it is a beautiful condo man! okay, the funny thing was it was supposed to be at 7pm, but ALL the guys were late. hmmz, sounds typical? but damn funny, we all came at the same time. haha. i love the squash guys, they are one cool bunch! wanted to push eng and wig into the swimming pool, but it was too late and the security guards were patrolling, damn sian lah. after packing up, we headed for the bus stops. on the way there, since there were alot of marshmellows left, the guys all loaded themselves with it and threw it at the girls walking in front of us. quite a comical sight i would say. then, on the bus to the interchange, the bus was fully seated and we dominated the back seats. then, they put wig to sit at the corner and squeezed him. but that ain't the funny part, what happened was in the process of doing so, shangqi, who was at the other end, lost his balance, and instead of grabbing the headrest of the seat in front, he grabbed the shoulder of a woman sitting in front!! hahaha. after that, we all slacked at the interchange, chit-chat for awhile then went home.

30th dec: orientation coming already. wah sian! tried to complete most of the stuff. stayed in school till 6pm. then went to meet rayner for tea. arh, forget it!

31st dec: slack at home watch finish gundam SEED. people enjoying themselves outside, i'm just slacking at home with mum telling me to do hw. great, still incomplete. forget everything already, i'm so screwed. new year resolutions? i agree with what my friend said of why wait till the end of year to have resolutions? perhaps that's why i'm doing it on a daily basis. it has definitely been an eventful holiday, wait a min, what holiday? my heartfelt thanks to the council, especially Halim and Kumar, whom i get to see most during the holidays and thus featuring in most of my entries.