explanation

i know i shouldn't be blogging at this point of time, but yea, as what the DISC trainer said, everything's inside, it just has to come out somewhere. just somewhere. so here...

TO ALL COUNCILLORS:
i just didn't open my mouth. you might be shock, but that's me. the real me. what you see laughing, chatting, the opening of the mouth isn't the real me. it's a weird hobby, i admit, but i like to think. just sit and wonder. don't assume i'm despondent just because i'm walking all alone in some ulu part of the school, it's just that i love it. i need a time to walk and think, do the thing i most enjoy. it isn't the right period of time or whatsoever, but yea, i figured that i needed time off to be in a perfectly serene place alone, enjoying the breeze. the silence of the night really serenades me.

the problem, you see, is that i didn't break down. i never did. all i did was just shut my mouth and think. i'm devoid of an "s" and "i" personality when i get to that, but just don't pry into my brain. just don't. information was just too abundant for me to absorb, i needed time. i needed to sort. i wanted to open my mouth, i was about to, but rationale thoughts overwhelmed and it automatically shutted. i wanted to say this today, but I'm sorry. all this while i haven't been saying anything, and i shan't explain myself further, partly because i don't want people to know, and partly due to my laziness, ie. slacker.

Orientation opened my eyes to my principles which i didn't strictly follow, it also gave me a whole new experience of what to consider. i feel that i am a perfectionist, and regarding most of the points you guys mentioned in the briefing, i had mentally jotted it down previously. Obviously, i realised that i couldn't think of everything given my pathetic IQ, but orientation led me to seek my inner self. Given all that, i felt that i had lost self respect and respect from everybody. Everybody knows that Kumar, Halim, Jiayan, Liane, Fifi all did a great job! i didn't. though my words may seem negative, it's just that i have considered ALL the positive points and are now focusing on those negative ones which would improve myself.

Lastly, i don't have time to continue. So i'll end this short para here. Don't worry about me as i'm seriously alright. Like everybody else, i have some catching up to do. Let's excel in our studies, everyone! =) Thanks for everything. i'm sorry i can't list out every single person now. but most importantly, thanks mr yeow! will blog again soon, i hope!