learning journey

reflections. yes. more reflections. The Truth seems to get more and more easier to understand. though i didn't think i grew, my brain somehow could realize things better. i just couldn't resist the temptation to type my heart out in this time of the night. sorry jiayan, but this is when thoughts get more serious and apparent. haha.. and i just got drifted away by it again...

anyway, i believed the 'debrief' served its purpose. to understand each other, clear misunderstandings and also to critic and improve on our mistakes. i just kept my mouth shut. not because i couldn't be bothered, neither was i angry nor sad, but it was just like reflection time. there was definitely room for improvement for orientation, but more often than not we tend to miss out on stuff.
why are we doing orientation? to incorporate the freshman into Meridian and gel them into the environment. why do we do so? because we are from the students' council; it is our job. why are we in students' council? various people have different reasons, but for me, it was for the points, experience and the people i serve: my friends. why do i do that? because i am in Meridian JC, and i feel the need to play a part in making the school a better place for us. why am i in Meridian? to further my studies and get a decent education level. why do i need to study? the minor reason is that it is part of my interest (maths), but the major one is that to study is like an investment to oneself so that one can get a job in the future. why then do we need to get a job? because we need to earn a living and feed ourselves. why do we do that? it is all part of survival, the so called part and parcel of life. hmmz, so why do we survive for? *stupified* it is just a natural instinct, as we don't want to die (i presume). but to think of it, we will die eventually, so we are letting nature take its course. the aim: live life to the fullest. which all boils down to my first point. orientation. it is a way where minds and emotions are put to the test, where we can improve and move on with life with a motive to make it the best it can be.

mistakes; to be relinquished but not to be dwelled on. we all make them. but what makes us different is that we learn. Learning is a lifelong journey, it never stops till your time is up. i, for one, likes to study people in hope to learn from them. so i just kept quiet. dumb? it does not matter whether the whole council loses respect for me, i learnt that self-worth is valuable. a scout is to be trusted, i could let others trust me, but why couldn't i let me trust myself? ironical, yet so true. TAs kept on saying, "glad to see majority of the council grew" i knew i didn't, but i wasn't letting them down. it was myself which i let down. also, not to say i'm SO great or what to notice, but the TAs grew. i've been secretly watching, but not daring to tell for fear that people would think i'm arrogant. Not only that, the OHLs and OGLs did grow too. though personal growth is much important, at times friends can be there and encourage others to point out their growth. I regrettably dislike my 'keep quiet' attitude, i realized that some people were affected, and i shouldn't keep to myself when everyone else poured out. I did consider what others might think of me, how would they feel etc. it does not matter, but i forget to assist others when i indulged in my thoughts. "To help other people", a simple 4 words from the SCOUTS PROMISE. i need to fulfill. Most importantly, we must not forget gratitude. I never got the time to thank my WnW game i/cs, ALL the OGLs for their fantastic job. No doubt the council has done much, but would it be possible without the help from the OGLs?

Due to time constrains yet again, i can only stop for now. but there are still much much more to come. and i am left in wonder to discover. =)