apparent

arh... it isn't lonely; though they have only each other for company. the moon was bright and round and full.

dreamer. however, still cranky and crappy as usual. at least i'm beginning to know the vega ogls. =) that's cooL!~

interesting. i would like further my friendship with you, for those who appreciate clouds and constellations are in the same recherche league as me.

the oblivious is approaching, yet there is no quotidian consternation; lucky. enjoy every moment of life... now i know why i don't get exasperated nor hysterical at all.

life is beautiful.

just stuck

it was just a tiny weeny bit obscured, but still not fully round with a bright star to compliment it.

been thinking more than usual lately, although i should be helping out. come to think of it, ironic how i should be the best that i can be, yet it was only three.

shikamaru is truly the person i aspire to take after... seriously, his traits are totally ideal in my perspective.

the type of life stuck should or want to live; two very different things. my very own concept is clear cut, and i'm not dissing others. the eye has been opened... =) i should really keep quiet and filter appropriate thoughts to say, application man, application! haiz~

residing

imperfection. perfect.
such is the irony; double that. =)

*catches thin air* ... *blur* ... *stunned* ... *finger touching mouth* ... *scratches head* ... where was i???
oh how typical; it's been a classic.

at least i'm learning to read the language of the world, it intensifies my instinct. i comprehended them and said "shhhh!" it was a total subterfuge; i like it when a good plan comes up, yet i know it won't come together. yes, we all do know the reason why...

also, before that, i believe they spoke the language of the world. i smiled deep in delight. trepidation; but yes, i'm beginning to get it. =)

the self conflict now has an obvious answer, which so coincidentally met up: control. i have to repress both urges, or rather, weaknesses. what a meaningful day! =)

i might have a SEED. adrenaline rush striked on me upon hearing the wonderful news. =) heheh

combination

when the conglomeration of the profanity of english language and twisted minds occur... specious or humourous? ethically none...

another day

not entirely prepared, but good enough, or so i thought. fmaths... haiz, if only i bothered to consolidate mechanics earlier... damn lame lah!

anyway, read weiding's most recent post on 'zhuang zi', which i found it to be rather cool. a carefree life, yes, simply fantastic; no proselytizing, absolute euphoria. as i remember my friend's aphorism, " a rested attitude lengthens a man's life", and i totally enjoyed that. yet, i hope it will be meaningful, amidst the ostensibly unjust which commoners holler vociferously. let's live! =)

starry starry night

15 march 2005:
it was a silent night, with the exception of the 'swoshing' of the waves. as i sat there in the strong gusts of wind, i looked beyond the ocean; a usual routine for point blank imagination. as alvin, alson, amos, rayner and ryan played around and enjoyed themselves in the partial heaven state of surroundings, i gazed at the cresent moon. the sky was pellucid and stars aplenty, coruscating brilliantly in the dark. a rare phenomenom, but it glued me to my seat as i continued to stare aimlessly. funny as to how i try to piece them together mentally, as if forming a skeleton of the signs. this then reminded me of unidad de estrallas...

my army medical checkup was considered short (9am - 12.30pm) as others had taken a much longer time. i came back to school only to find the ogls and councillors went out for MMM, leaving kumar and kha behind with augustine. it didn't seem like a camp to me, and felt out of place. lol! queer, isn't it? the same thing was happening, ain't it? didn't know vega at all, like i didn't know regulus. total mixed blood... the dumb thing is that now that i'm slacking to the max, which was totally opposite from 1st o, it just feels weird. not knowing anything, not really bothering too, circumstances have changed. interesting how psychology facilitates, where i said i have reached the pinnacle of pococurantism. it's like concealing the pretentious, as what halim, kumar and i all agreed upon. go figure.

16th march: there wasn't as many stars as yesternight, but the breeze prevailed. the ventures were cycling and just catching up, enjoying each other's company. such a life just rocks! =)

phrase of the month

phrase of the month (this is so true): our imbroglio is the quotidian semblance of pococurantism

presented to you by: Kumar, Halim and me. =)

concepts

positive energy. yes, if only i could generate it at the crux. another dream, to be fulfilled? wants versus needs.

well, halim has way cool ideas which i feel i can learn more about from. wishing that we can be closer and talk more about such stuff.

a reality check; from what i see, people don't envision across the ostensibly endless ocean. it feels weird, different, all of this are our prime years, so cherish it. the concept of life being unfair, as brought up by halim, was revolting to the both of us. is it only this much - to finish whatever that needs to be done ? perhaps coming from a c personality bestows me a heavenly gift of cogitation, and i deeply appreciate it. perhaps now is the time to seek out meaning and faith. though i don't like the concept of religon, i have to believe and unravel the language of the world, perhaps something like a "soul society". but back to focusing, study. nonetheless, orientation is important as this would be the measure on how we would be able to carry and balance ourselves, thus forcing the best in us

reborn?

funny. how the opinions differ, yet i have already considered all of that. a silent smile of content; i've finally caught up. however, making some mental calculations, devotion took advantage on most of my time, leaving 4 days to study for block test. cool huh? and i'm blogging now... absolutely fantastic! =) a moment of inspiration from the TAs, then knowing i was the only one who let the block test climb over orientation. i wasn't exactly studying, but hey, i did all my work. i guess failing chem and maths really spurred me on; therefore strive on. such devoid of emotions, lackadaisical yet moxie, huh? neutralisation... yes. i knew the direction i was going, but do they? it seems so selfish on my part, i'm so sorry council, i really desire to keep my 's' paper. the real world, oh so harsh, and i'm apparently succumbing. difference in goals, focus and ideals; that is how the cycle goes. finding themselves back at square one, they shook their head incessantly. i smiled.

Mai Hime: a nice new anime i just picked up. Addict? but, i manage to settle stuff. surprised with myself, no doubt, the mind is indefinitely one's greatest asset. combined with a pristine heart, i feel, would make a perfect combination in seeking my life. rock on!~ =)

looking back

5 months... arh... as quick as a blink of the eye. soon, block test is coming; fortunately, my study senses has been alerted. something comical: casually doing my gp block test like a normal day comprehension, taking my own sweet time and not being able to finish. little did i realise that, and i got to know of it when i asked my friend when our gp blog test were only yesterday. gg! byebye s paper...

however, it was a rather eventful day. =) btw, bleach is damn cooL!~

black and white; matching or contrasting?

amidst the darkness were grey, and the sudden outburst did present a miniature shock. short, swift and unforeseen, but it wasn't too wet. after that, right smack in front of me, a sudden downright lowest scum of the earth look and spat. doesn't forebode well; and i'm mentally prepared.

earlier in the afternoon, $17 brought a small degree of entertainment, certain relevance with gp and rich history, of which i was not interested in. yet i did sat there, after giving my promise. however, it turned out good as it catalyses my comprehension on the irony of a utopia and racism. ideologies drastically differ, yet opens up a possibility of a new path.

stream of thoughts

when the world so seemingly conspires against you: utter dejection. yet, do we even take a step back, and point out 'hey, it could have been worse'? 'the pilgramage' suggests a 'cruelty exercise', in which physical pain is self-inflicted to embrace one's spiritual damage a negative thought does to oneself . i beg to differ, with the principle of balance standing strong. i believe that if one is cognizant regarding his/her own self, though the exercise might strengthen self belief and hence worth of living, the former is sufficient to me. moving on, i carried out the speed excercise, where you would take at least 10 mins off and walk at half your normal walking speed. take note of the environment around you, you will then realize alot of stuff; try it and you'll understand =). plunging deeper in thought, i shook my head to awake myself and realised i was 'stoning', while in actual fact, as being nicely put, pondering over philosophy. the brain is indefinitely a very significant and powerful tool, as the ever-present innate desire to seek understanding puzzles me. such is the irony of the world. and as my friend had commented, the world is not fair. such hasty generalisation, yet apparently true for most people. fairness; does justice reign over our hearts? the important thing here is, i feel, the nourishing of the soul combined with a fulfilled life. why do we struggle with such menial stuff? there are infinite variations to interpretations, so why seek? it once again brings us back to balance, and the vicious cycle repeats...