slapped

one across the left cheek in the morning, and another across the other, finished with a uppercut against the jaw, leaving it speechless. funny how everyone counted how many marks they lost: 20, 30... 35... 40... 45!! GG =) lucky i didn't studied. heh, the result would still be the same

a big joke

time's up. after ms chia collected our papers, edwin slowly turned his head to look at me.

And we burst out laughing... haha!!! i looked at andrew, who was behind me, and we started laughing too. such a comical scene is classic, it always happens after a fmaths paper, be it a class test or big exam.

i had to suppress myself to contain my laughter, totally funny! heheh... as we cleared out of the hall, i fell onto the railing. good heavens! gay... ...

the chapter closes

yes, as i flipped the last page of Sophie's world, it felt that what i needed to know was being taught to me over the past few days. my life's learnings are invaluable, so there won't be any comparision made, its simply the concept of time.

well, my midyears are screwed, but hey, not my life though. heh =)

ultimately, it's the A levels which matter eh? enough of that, well, the skepticism which is imbued within the self remains... as i continue to find answers, the first of which is to seek why the 'spirit' lusts for understanding. the concept of nothingness still impresses, however it hasn't been what the norm has considered. if only thy medium can meditate under a tree facing the sea, perhaps nature would converse with it.

anyway, there were good times too. especially when one hasn't excercised in months, and is suddenly rekindled the love of his sport (softball). the temasek 'beavers' (lol) won 12-5 as all had a good time, including the birthday man who umpired. it is the team which mattered, and fond memories floated in front of us too. philosophy at that time, was like an 'extra' thing which popped up only when i was free. haha. ironic eh? following that immediately was cycling with amos and rayner. as we flew past the roads, they brought in the concept of superstition as we saw 2 funeral processions taking place. it had indeed been a bad day, or so it seemed, for the both of them. on the other hand, i was enjoying myself and it struck me, hard. as we pedalled to bedok jetty and met with their friends, i just sat looking at the sea, thoughts abundant. after that was a concept plot of revenge came up, and it bewildered my senses. am i to accept that we are mere mortals? yes, we are born to ere. sure? argh...

we cycled to the macdonalds, to the laguna, and back to mac again. then, amos had to leave, and i waited for alvin and simone. well, we then cycled past bedok jetty to the other end, where we took a breather at a shelter which had surprisingly strong wind. i decided to leave them and head for bedok jetty as they were discussing matters which i shouldn't interfere with.

as the colourness and unknown gushed relentlessly at my entire body, the strong mystical force set me back to the land of ideas. the throbbing increased and adrenaline pumped, sending whirlpools of lashes against the intelligence as i tried to shield them off. it was then a good time to go cycling, as i took off at remarkable speed despite physical fatigue. the pressure applied at the crank arms increased spasmodically which was proportionate to where its nerve connects. it required 20 - 25mins to which i reached the other end of east coast, stopping awhile for a drink. the messages i received distorted my rationale as i then paced around on bike at the area of which 7-eleven was. then, i was by the sand with bike beside, enjoying the moon. oh how cunning it was! stealthily, it concealed itself and take a little peek at us and hastily retracted as it became self conscious. heh. i was reluctant to leave, and thus watched the performance of the live band nearby. it was already 10.30, and i lost my courage and decided it was sufficient.

now, i am lame. it was a good day though, but could it possibly keep up?

on the spot

credo quia absurdum: "i believe in what is irrational"
a twist thought.

"satan oscillate my metallic sonatas" *hint: spell the whole sentence backwards* =)

the events of the hearts are beginning to unfold. how many have i heard about cometh tis' week?

the wind at bedok jetty will always be cool, as the nature follows the heart. it gathered the droplets of vapour in a swirl, it dissipates and reveals the moon. rasengan! then it became obscured again, yet the convulsive spasmodic action repeats. it becomes clear again. =)

a freudian slip or malappropriation. the clearest of conscience requires good ethics, but how one defines good is yet another mystery. as the self abandons academics in pursue of truths, it contradicts itself by assisting those in need. however, its glad it did. =)

in simplicity's sake, i do wonder who does read and truly understand my blog. are we satisfied with what oldern philosophy and concepts presents us? interesting, but i beg to differ. there's no point in reading something which you cannot fathom

the usage of language still amazes me though... ...

a journey back: "Think"

written: 18th june 2005, 12.45am, some place in malacca

Like Yakitate Japan!, a philosopher should not use the word common sense. it speaks alot about that person. To break away from the norm and formulate concepts, or just pure thinking -- to answer his own questions. its intruguing to see great philosophers like Kant, Hume, Locke and Berkely form their own philosophies when what they preach is the degree of sensual perception that humans possess. perhaps they might have overlooked one thing, following their theories, that is humans too vary in thinking, and what they perceive may not be what others see. i'm not denegrating humans or whatsoever but isn't it funny to have philosophers ponder sophisticated life concepts which nobody bothers about in the first place? they even threw in the concept of religion, and can't even proved that a God or immortal being exists. sure, they talk about faith, but it is only a concept proposed by humans. well, i would have to agree with Descartes that thoughts are brought forward by ancestors and we do not question them. Doubt. call me dumb, but let's make one thing clear, i'm not paying any disrespect to any religion, so please no offence taken yea?

A classic example to start with is the unconscious life in a '24-hour day'. minutes, seconds, even nano-seconds are what men have perceive time to be. as a child, we know nothing about time and we unknowningly accept that fact. time is only an idea which is passed on, even misconceived terms like 'rising sun' are still in use although it has been proven that the earth, and not the sun, is which that rotates around earth. but then again, it is language, the first of my concerns which aroused my interest to philosophy, is only but a form of expression. the important idea is the communication, to pass the message of words which convey the idea of one person's mind. effective, maybe, but there are miscommunications which arise. why so? i have no idea, is language then useless? perhaps that is why i dream of the language of the world. what is true philosophy then? even now, i find that words are so mystical, and i'm grateful of it. a simple thought: interchange the words of 'good' and 'bad' and imagine people conversing in that manner. is that truly what they mean? do you still get the same message? i wonder....

so pardon me please. if you think i'm uttering rubberish, by all means. but i do hope that people do stop and think about such worldly affairs, especially the simple things. everything requires thinking, and i believe there is no such thing as a no brainer. however, i can't control nor coerce you all to think. like a hypothesis, even something which cannot be disproven by reason does not mean that it is for real. we do not know. the reason i'm doubting things is similar to that of Descartes, he said, " when we dream, we feel we are experiencing reality. what separates our waking feelings from our dream feelings? when i consider this carefully, i find not a single property which with certainty separates the waking state from the dream, how can you be certain that your whole life is not a dream?" this reminded me of the Truman show. haha... =)perhaps Descartes is a mathematician cum philosopher which sort of resembles me, however he did earn my respect. "Cogito, ergo sum", these famous words do mean alot to him and every single person out there too.

have gone into a retreat in the suburbs to experience a simple lifesetyle and better my knowledge of the history of philosophy... ...

me, myself and i?

the many puns in all my previous entries were intended, if you do get it...

life: a concept brought forward to us by men of prehistoric times. they made, we followed, and i ain't complaining. i take too many things for granted, ranging from simple mechanisms of gravity to sophisticated and intricate study of atoms and strings. have been repeatedly influenced by many different ancient philosophers only to find myself back at square one. as i IDLE my time away, there's a set of ETHICS which i've decided to follow. People believe in the natural right, and i hope to seek out what it means. modern men mutated and manipulated oldern meanings which distorts our concept on life.

the self. the self tries to be selfless yet is selfish simply because it is itself. many words themselves have been self attached to the self by "selves", for portraying the self's uniqueness myself doesn't know. but thy self is selfish by thinking that myself could selflessly attain universal enlightment.

i have decided to give up on academics, and pursue philosophy in depth with the help of mathematics.

rationalism and sensation
monism and dualism
substance
ethics
life
...

shackles

as the pleasure of sparks becomes common, the eye centres back at thought. (pun intended) i feel excited for them too actually, the arts do intrigue.

bounded by limitations. however, we still get to see the sunrise and sunset, but who knows when will it last till?

catatonic

it seems that one thing is for certain, that is to doubt everything.

such a mentality with itenaries of grandiloquence, or perhaps would it be food for thought literally? haha. =)

theory of mechanical world versus theory of ideas.
logic and emotions
depression and rejoice
good and evil.

intertwined? or should it even be trusted? the point socrates and descartes tried to drive across seems apparent now: we know nothing.

cynical. optimism. pessimistic. confusion. we never fail to detach ourselves from what life has paved out for us. figuratively puppets? doubt.

we try too hard to prove something which may not even be true; human reasoning is not almighty. such certainty we might obtain may just be stained by the colour of our pupil.

an excerpt: The Baroque period

"On the one hand there was the Renaissance's unremitting optimism -- and on the other hand there were the many who sought the opposite extreme in a life of religious seclusion and self-denial. Both in art and in real life, we meet pompous and flamboyant forms of self-expression, while at the same time there arose a monastic movement, turning away from the world"
"One of the Baroque period's favourite sayings was the Latin expression 'carpe diem' -- 'seize the day'. Another Latin expression that was widely quoted was 'memento mori' which means 'remember that you must die'. In art, a painting could depict an extremely luxurious lifestyle, with a little skull painted in one corner."
"In many senses, the Baroque period was characterized by vanity or affectation. But at the same time a lot of people were concerned with the other side of the coin; they were concerned with the ephemeral nature of things. That is, the fact that all the beauty that surrounds us must one day perish."

it gives much to ponder on... ...

simple analogy, no harsh feelings

the reason why i cannot comprehend why people flare up so easily was reinforced by the following email i received sometime last year from my dear brother scout...

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.
So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.
Days after days passed by,and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended....
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?". The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

(theirs) Moral of the story:
Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take! Love others even if you don't like them
(mine) Moral of the story:
Throw away any hatred not because we will not carry sins, but inner tranquility would allow clarity of the mind. there is no forgiveness whatsoever, simply because we didn't bear a grudge of any sort in the first place. =)

and we shall

new light, greater heights.

consulting of constellations and the sphere of reflection. it has now become our era, us mere mortals conceited, or so i feel, with leopard guts do we wage against the universe. our trap hollers as its controller give it a brushing thought, not bothering to dig deeper. as socrates describes "the equality of mankind is evident due to its ability for reasoning"; it's name is logic. i then bow to the audacity who kindly look away and not giving due respect to our philosophical forefathers. these self proclaimed concoctors with tilted vision has powerful summarizing powers. oh my, was i too obvious or oblivious?

reason managed to catch up with his old friend, and together they walk down the mystical path... ...

absence

haiz... reason has lost its company.

please come back. shall we?

nostalgia

the rain must fall... ...

as the mood sets in, scribbling of pens and good words put in. shifts in paradigms as the earth makes its revolution. changes drastic, with intention of good nature i know not. they have been dear to me, though time spent together was short-lived. is life all so purposeful that living has become day to day? time did not speed up, the pace didn't seem to pick up, yet the sand flows fluidly...

definitely missing out on life as the world is so mystical. the universal wisdom cannot be fully achieved by meagre minds, therefore ears are bestowed for precious absorbing of ideas. even then such a level is rather unattainable. reflections of passion becomes increasingly apparent as the 'nature' of what life precedes clouds our mind. do omens knock or fate and destiny walk? the lost of presence to surroundings is depressing; a trap which can hardly be avoided.

to be aloof of life itself, is it a good choice? or shall we indulge in sensory pleasure? the future is always unknown, and the hearts of humans can't be at ease. such high order thinking, i confess not, as my intellectual capabilities fall short on limit. a dialogue with complex minds i look forward, but my hopes are at the tip of the hinge. so simplicity is what i look out for, for a puny mind of mine has boundaries.

am i deep, i'm afraid not. the wonders of life always makes a constant effort to amuse thyself. the guidance of the enlightened would be deeply appreciated. when the heart feels and its conjugate reasons, illogical becomes prevalent. the outcome of the mutiny wouldn't be easily decided as the strife continues to plague mankind. is the gift such that the compliment wouldn't compliment it?

rhetorics, stoic and irony. life goes on.

guess i was bored

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050604003227-108977

0 - 20: expected
30 - 50: congrates on passing
60 - 80: philosofreak
90 - 100: i bow down to your knowledge

Of princes and beggars

A story which dig deeped in memories resurfaced in my meagre mind. The man who counted, was respected. general truths in life he didn't address, yet he solved complexes and intricate problems with his gift for numbers and logic.

As the human body degenerates with the flow, wouldn't it be cool to have it end with life coming to one full cycle? Treasure the gifts in daily life... ...

Maths Olympiad was ostensibly managable, but somehow i just couldn't process the thoughts. stunned! however, what followed after concluded wed 1st june to be special. accompanied by two geniuses, we visited suyong at SGH and saw him got discharged. take care bro! the 3 of us (sannin) have surpassed levels of disgustingly sophisticated lame dialogue. thanks junjie & weiding! your presence never fails to squeeze brain juices and bring smiles.

Setting foot in Bugis, my pace reduced to a saunter as i consciously observed and appreciated the surroundings. totally cooL! =) it then came to a solemn moment outside seoul garden. 5 heaps of pure meat vanished into our stomachs as sufi, kumar and i whacked the table. i cleared mountains of rice and we showed no mercy after 3 hours of battle. Afew lucky ones were spared as we munched on desert, MMM comm will strike again!! =) sorry yixin, i didn't make it to marina bay. you enjoy yourself dongster assistant leader! grow up already still play water gun... haha

thurs: 4 hrs of normal lessons, 3hrs of s paper, 3hrs of game concept workshop. on the train, pang ker exclaimed "let's go town now, set?", reply "set". at bedok, "i feel like going to east coast", a frantic dash out of the closing doors. good decision, good intuition. as we sat down enjoying the desert at the laguna, an unexpected phonecall by mr yeow. "hey stuck, sorry to disturb but are ya enjoying your food?" i raised to my feet, and glanced around as if we were stalked. sarah, pangker and i then moved beside him and his friend. the night was young. they departed, so did we to bedok jetty. stars coruscated across the sky with the familiar breeze.

my heart was there, yet somewhere else. a paradox perhaps?