seed exercise

the pilgrimage; another great book which i indulge in. totally enlightening.

the name of the exercise reminded me of the good old days of temasek, where xun would lend me his ff8 guidebook (god knows where it went) and i would play the nicest and funnest game on earth: final fantasy. come to think of it, that was how i got to know nobuo uematsu. =) my utmost respect for him!! ever since then, i've completed ff6 and ff8, but only half of ff7. sad, yes, but time ain't in my favour. now, instead of indulging in games, i dig philosophy. however, first, the homework must be done. yes, it must. =)

ps: shikamaru rocks!~ way to go =) 122 rocks!~

oc

a grand, stylish and green environment, rather peaceful too. magnificent lights, audio system. a prepared college, where most of the staff and students are involved. a most distinguished guest of honour, mr teo. all, when so coincidentally occur together, marks the big day for a new college. a vision to be the best, to cultivate learned man and woman of calibre with the heart and will to lead and serve in a challenging world. this is where i learn, and where most of my time is spent, with relationships tested, and determination trialed.

i will fight for the canteen, yes i will. performance, did well, but let's keep it as that okay? =) once popped, an adrenaline rushed flushed my system and we ran to the front, shouting our hearts out. good job guys, and a time to rest. but not for long, as the council still has another big event coming up. packing up, after mingling with students at the reception, i went to the canteen and saw a group of fmaths people eating. they were the food 'ushers', and were now enjoying their meal from the plentiful leftovers. i digged in with delight, as i was surprised to have my friends to dine with me. after that, samuel, shijin the zaikia, sean, qingde, yousi and i went to bowl at downtown east. they called andrew along, and i went to slack cum hangout with them. it was late, eyes struggling to keep open, yet i carried a smile. today was over; success. =)

omens

19th feb: cip. though shagged, we explored half of singapore, from tampines to paya lebar, to city hall and yishun, and back. one of the rare times i get to go out with my classmates, and we had a practical 'lesson' on random variables. and to be precise, DISCRETE random variables, or DISCREET random variables, as what my teacher says. subtle acts of innocence, initially bona fide and pristine, became trial as we took maths outdoors. what's the probability of singaporeans donating for flag day when you are slacking in the mrt or having lunch? normally, it would be practically 0, but it hit an unexpected high for all 4 of us: eugene, brandon, khenglong and me. although i didn't had a four-leaf clover with me, khenglong and i had sort of a windfall, with KIND SOULS donating tons of 5 cent coins to us. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! =) yishun people rox!~ go Pecko!

23rd feb: tired muscles led me to sit down and wait with kumar for his parents to fetch him home. a fraction of a shimmer of a light caught his eye, and it began to part. as it continued prying open, we enjoyed it thoroughly but was short-lasting. yet again, the usual darkness returned, and the parting was gone, in the snap of fingers. what does it mean? it seems like it was trying to tell me something, however i can't understand! haiz... the other time where i saw it was in an anime "bleach", where an ultra gigantic monster called a 'menos grande' would tear apart the sky and appear to harm earth. omens. or so i chose to perceive it as one.

we chatted, and i sensed disappointment. more omens on the journey back home from the car, as it seems to be, appeared. ironic, but realistic. emotions versus logic; a grand showdown. enjoy the battle =)

interpretation

inspired by a great friend's nickname...

a toss of an object onto a table, a blank face; anger, laziness, carelessness. such is the language of the World. what was burning from within, we could tell, if and only if we listened hard enough. yes, language is important for logical thoughts and reasoning, yet somehow, i believe that faith would surpass that barrier, bringing us to further heights. a belief, which might invite opposing viewpoints. sweet. i'll be opening my soul, listening...

funny to the max

18th feb: after a game of netball, the combined disappoint of not being able to train and play slipped away. it was an alternative which was sort of a group bonding, and definitely tiring. rested, and waited, and hesistated. when wig came, we were still undecided. crossing the road, supposedly going to elias, or simei, we decided to board bus 53. a hasty decision, which turned out to be excellent. and off we were to the airport...

played "hua quan" (guessing numbers: 0,5,10,15,20 etc. depending on the number of hands), then watched eng's video and talk cork along the way. congrates lah eng! good luck arh =) it was both eng and my first time eating at popeyes'. though expensive, the food was much better than kfc and very filling. then den syrahil kena ignored, haha. eng and keith purposely ask him something, then talk to me. damn farnie lah! =) wig was enjoying his food and deep in thought, and i knew that his heart was somewhere else. we saw wig's classmate there eating with her sister too. rich people...

we then proceeded to the viewing gallery, where the scene of airplanes taking off at night was splendid. we walked to the part where Swensens was, with a playground beside it. keith, den, eng and i sat down, tired, and eng started teaching us a farnie lame game. "de, de-de de de, de de". we were supposed to put one finger of each hand on the floor, then chant the beat. the person who starts will point at any one finger, and at the last 2 beats (ie: "de de"), the fingers to the immediate left and right of the pointed finger will have to tap twice (ie: following the beat). after practising a few times, we made a consensus on the forfeit (after losing 3 times), the first of which was to slide down the slide in the playground and shout "whee!". i made the first blunder, and was like "damn!" as the loser had to add an additional finger, which makes things more difficult. luckily, i somehow got accustomed to it and den lost 3 times. when he had to do the forfeit, we were laughing like mad cows. the playground was rather crowded, and he had to stand there and wait for his turn to "play" the slide. furthermore, his size was small too, and patiently waited for his turn. it was funny to the max as we see him stand there! lol =)

after that, we roped faeez in and taught him how to play. the next forfeit was to rock on the "rocking" frog at the playground. guess who lost? lol... wig! then there was this girl sitting on the frog and rocking vigorously, and we told wig to rock as hard as she did, and we laughed! she didn't want to get off, and i guess the group of us spoke too loud (saying "he wants to play" and pointing at wig). she reluctantly got off, and by then, almost all the adults at the viewing gallary turned to look too. wig got on and rocked 5 times, and we burst out laughing. as he got off, all the people were staring at him; embarrasment to the max sia! =)

next, wig stood out to continue watching the airplanes. den, keith, eng and i continued, with the next forfeit being doing shuttle run with the fastest time possible. again, den kena as he lost, running super fast with people staring at him. we all had a good laugh, and i could laugh no more. and so i thought, we went back to popeye to bid farewell to raj and wig's classmate, and playing for a last time. there were 3 tables for 2, with 6 empty chairs and each pair facing each other. the loser had to sit on all six chairs, one by one. interestingly, eng blundered and had to face "punishment". haha. he strolled to the first chair, sat down and covered his face. he proceeded to sit on all the 6 chairs slowly, and ran away after his forfeit was over. DAMN MALU! =) furthermore, there was a couple sitting nearby, and the guy told the girl that eng sat on all 6 chairs. they chuckled, and keith and i laughed even louder.

it was one hell of a night, doing dumb things and laughing our asses off. sure it was tiring, and i died on my bed the instant i reached home. dongster gang: you rock!~ =)

changed

i noticed. but refused to face it. drastic difference, an imbroglio i wouldn't want to be in. i'm stuck, not seng tuck. gee, i wonder? experience has taught me much, yet it moulded me into stuck; insensitive, hasty, speaks too much. that isn't what i am, or i'm living in self denial. can't accept the fact? perhaps so... i don't really like it. it seems as though i didn't wisen up, and there are some feelings which are inexorable, yet detestable. simply revolting.

monday was valentines day, it sucked my life probably due to the reality check of my studies and results. i slacked, and didn't massed anything. yet, i do appreciate those who did take the effort to at least get something for their friends. it's really not easy, as i've done it many times before. now; time wasn't on my side. thank you kha, kai, guanguan, jia, kumar, jessica, stefanie, su ern, ngiam, for going the extra mile. my heartfelt gratitude. =)

squash rocks! =) you guys are the farniest to the MAX! thanks for making squash so interesting =)

weiding, you and i have lots to discuss. dear genius, you have my admiration! =)

Application

a few nights ago, on a starry starry night... 5 people came together and layed down in the shape of a star, gazing. the night sky was brilliant; it seem like it was talking, but i can't understand it.

apply. just do it. why can't i???

as the doors refused to close, i sat there and looked out of the window. yet again, it was trying to say something and i can't get it. people helped, while i drifted.
i remember kai saying "it's not engraved in our hearts; we must make it bleed"

and back to that dazzling night, i had made a decision. painful, but had to be done. i will continue to offer my services whenever possible.
"fast forward"
but just before i got onto that bus, he told me that i wasn't regarded as one. the words, though cruel, struck me. struck me hard. but i didn't fall. i have to carry it and move on. but whatever's being done, my heart will still be one. it must.

the world revolves. sufferings aplenty. flustered souls.

anyway, the chinese new year was rather good. gave me time to think about stuff, visit friends and relatives. a short break from school work. watched anime, chatted and slacked. enjoyed myself, and am fortunate to have done so. time to adhere to the timetable. =)

happy CNY!!

thanks to Bear bear, Valerie, Phuay ying, Siewluang, Liang, Jia, Sutris darling, Samuel, Liane for smsing me FIRST to wish a happy new year. thanks people!~ rock on =)
thanks to Dar, zzy, Xun, glenn, eugene liu, mr eugene, ENG, big MaMa ralph, audrey for replying my sms wishes. a happy new year to you guys too! =)
thanks to yixin, marcus, june, junyi, adeline, kunxiang, sini for exchanging wishes via MSN. =)

"what is a personal legend? it's what you have always wanted to accomplish." and "when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." this is what Paulo Coelho, the author of the book "The Alchemist" wrote.

i have no idea how much truth is there in it, but i was told that everyone has their mission in life. sure, the book did provide wondrous insights, open doors, and definitely, more learning.

interpretation. varying. vast differences. clash of ideas. let nature take its own path. which brings me to my next point; omens.

listen the language of the world. enjoy it. it's indescribably fantastic. just keep watching. time gives experience, which brings about maturity, leading to growth.

faith and logic. when one spills over, the other should hold strong. sense; thus everything would then seem possible. that's where balance comes in yet again. repeated many a times in my life, yeap. balance. i've decided to listen to the World of Soul language. it fits in. it reasons logic, and faith steadfast with barriers cascaded.

still got hurdles yet to overcome, much more to learn. yet, happiness finds its way.

uncertainties. unhappiness. solved. cohesiveness. eradicate distrust. a matter of balance. i've got to learn to apply it.

lastly, thanks cousins, aunty and uncles for giving us a great time. also, thanks rayner for always spending your precious time with me. you rock!~ =)